Mummy's Promise: Sign for A Living Spirit!

We---my husband, me and my daughter---were sitting at the center aisle that evening at the Easter vigil mass. Usually, we sit at the left side aisles and our daughter sits in the choir. The song was “Christ is risen today, Ah… Ah…Allelluiah.” While the organist & violinist started playing, my husband reached out and took the hymn book over from my daughter’s side. She threw me a puzzled glance as if to say “what’s wrong with him! He has two hymn books right in front of him. Why does he have to reach for one that is further away?” I pressed her hand assuring it is alright.

I love that song and as usual, I was testing my voice to the limit. Church is the only place I get to sing, nowadays, and I always look forward to it like a child. Many things have changed in life: Our children have grown up; my mom and my husband’s dad have died, and we are not getting any younger either. The only constant is the singing of praise to GOD and when I sing, I feel connected… to the past, present and future. Everything seems to make sense and I feel the goodness around me as if there is nothing wrong with the world.

My husband turned the front few pages of the hymn books on our row and pursed his lips. As we sat down he showed me the name that book was dedicated to. It was not the one we were looking for. But I was happy to see the dedication was for Fr. Arnold --our former pastor of more than 20years.

Two years back, when our church ordered all brand new hymn books, we had the opportunity to give a donation and dedicate a book to someone. We requested dedication of a book to my father-in-law, Francis G. Rajaratnam and a book to mummy, Jessie Rajanayagam Vijiaratnam of Uduvil. Ever since the new books arrived, we skimmed the books every Sunday- wherever we sat, to find the ones with our dedication. Before long, we located the book dedicated to my father-in- law, right among the seats where we usually sit. Last two Christmas holidays, when our brother-in-law visited us, I made sure to find that book and show them. It made me very happy!

However, we have not found mummy’s book, yet, and I was earnestly hoping as usual “may be today!” That’s what my husband was up to, checking the dedication page in all the books in our row where we were seated that day.

It was a long mass with Baptism ceremonies. We gathered around the Baptismal fountain/pool at the back of the church. I drifted in my thoughts to the days when mummy and I discussed life and death, and whether there is life after death. My mom loved ‘Psalm: 23’ which I requested to be read at her funeral service. She believed in “Lord is my shepherd…, he will anoint my head…” She strongly believed that we are on the earth for a reason and upon death while our body may decay--mission accomplished--our lasting spirits go back to GOD!

During such conversations, she made sure to bring to my attention that people of other faith---Hindus and Budhists, for example---also believe in the continuity of the spirit/soul and even reincarnation. She also promised me that she would - after her death, if possible - come back to let me know of the “Living Spirit.” She said one sign may not be enough- so, she would try at least two times. Yes, mummy had kept her promise and did make her presence felt quite a few times, but those wonderful stories are for another day.

I snapped back into the now and here, following the Baptismal mass, I chorused with everyone “Yes, I do!” when asked “Do you allow GOD to come into your life?” I meant every word and felt complacent realizing the connectedness and continuity of our spirits. During the donation collection song, my daughter nudged me and asked what it is with the hymn books. I hushed back that we were looking for the hymn book dedicated to mummy. “Oh!” she said “she is over there in the choir!” I gasped “what?” “Yea, she is over there! And I use her book all the time in the choir!”

My husband and I looked at each other. We couldn’t believe it! There it was... the book dedicated to "Jessie of Uduvil," in the very first row of the choir and often in the hands of her granddaughter during Sunday mass. Having been musically inclined and passed the highest Cambridge (UK) exams in Piano, where else would mummy have preferred her book to be located? It made a whole lot of sense. We chuckled knowing her personality. It is her way of showing us that she is up there, a living spirit, in GOD’s presence. And having been an effective teacher, obviously, she chose the Easter vigil mass to reiterate the “holy” truth!

I am my one-of-a kind mother's daughter!

Copyright ©2010 VeerajaR